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Greetings from Canada

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 18:48:28 +0000

I've been lurking around this website for a while now and have finally decided to join. I truly take pleasure in reading about all those different topics on this website .

I am a 19 yr old male from Canada though not originally born there. I am originally from Philippines. I moved to Canada with my loved ones in 2006 and have been living there ever since. Canada is a superb place and I loved from the first time I visited.

I'm hoping to meet new people on this website and also contribute to the discussions on this site which I think I should be able to. So all in all great to meet everyone!

Local Jobs

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 23:14:45 +0000

Lets go for a run!

best joke ever

Thu, 01 Sep 2011 19:18:32 +0000

Blonde in an Internat Cafe

A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America.

She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?"

The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya"

And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum"

The guy says: "In that case follow me"

So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!"

So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"

< URL Removed >

Holy Crap. (trigger?)

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 00:48:09 +0000

So, usually I don't really ever share my poetry... but it has been an interesting day. I do not even know how I started reading it in the first place. But there is one I wrote back in 07 that kind of scared me... not that it was bad, but that I was able to so freely express what I was feeling in words. Here it is..

Slowly swinging
Back and forth
Oscillating
An end to her pain

As the door opened
He couldn't
Comprehend
The sight before him

His heart pounding
At the sight
Disbelieving
No tears hitting his cheeks

His flesh and blood
Unnatural blue
Unmoving
Hanging from the rafters

He cut her down
Unable to breathe
Speechless
Wondering why

Her limp body fell
Thudding, a noise
Unforgettable
Head meeting concrete

Days turn to months
Months pass like
Molasses
Unable to understand

Opening the door
To find him
Oscillating
Slowly swinging
Back and forth

Lets try, try again...

Wed, 17 Nov 2010 20:33:29 +0000

Sure seems that way anyway. So I've been absent for a while now and, as I probably should have expected, things have been pretty quiet around here. As nice as a bit of silence might be to me (seeing as I seem to be living full time in a nuthouse nowadays), it's not what I see as success for a web forum. In light of this, I'll be trying yet again to get some activity going around here. You know what they say "if at first you don't succeed..." (though admittedly I like some of the alternative lines for this )

Likely Absense

Tue, 19 Oct 2010 00:12:30 +0000

Power is out at my house and we do not know for how long. Odds are for a while I will not be able to be online. This does NOT mean that the site will be abandoned. I will be getting on at least once a week to make sure everything is still running smoothly on the site itself, clean up any spam or unwanted messages that may have been missed, etc. What it does mean is that I will not be able to be here every day or every other day to check up on things and reply to people.

If anyone needs me, I will still be available through other means:
- AIM is forwarded and working properly. If you need me for anything, you can use it to send a message which will be forwarded via text message to my phone and I will be able to reply to it. The phone I am using has unlimited text so this will not be a problem there.
- Yahoo is forwarded and appears to be working properly. Again with this one, if you need me send me a message there and it will b e sent to me via a text message which I can reply to.
- MSN is being a pain. I have attempted to set it to forward messages, but it does not appear to be working correctly.
- Emailing me at the address linked to in my signature. I have unlimted web on my phone and can actually check this address despite many websites (this one included) not working well on my phone.
- Facebook message. I can check this on my phone as well, though I cannot play games on facebook through it and will not necessarily be checking all the time.
- Texting my phone directly. Unfortunately for those who do not have my number, I don't wish to display it publicly to the whole world. If you would like my number, you can email me as explained above and I will probably send it to you. If you try to call, however, there is a very good chance I will not answer.

rant

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 22:55:06 +0000

I'm sick of people acting like they care when they really don't... people with false smile and false hopes don't need to pretend to care... they think they are happy and will it to be so.i don't like the way poeple think by yelling at you for bring crazy and unstable is going to help anything... hello i'm unstable not stupid... dumb people and their stupid thought of how to make the world better...

Back to school...

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 01:38:47 +0000

I'm headed back to school tomorrow, so I will not be around anymore... but no worries, I'll be back

[moved] Video Link - likely disturbing!

Sun, 18 Jul 2010 18:34:54 +0000

I'm moving/removing this from the shoutbox, as I don't think it should be broadcast to the whole world at the top of every page. If you want to watch the video, do so at your own risk. Personally, I have too many nightmares and bad memories to dare watch this myself at this time...

That being said:
This video contains death and other content that is likely disturbing to some (most) viewers.
I have not watched this video myself, so the content is unknown to me. It may not be as bad as I expect, but it may also be much worse.

And ultimately... VIEW AT OWN RISK!

shoutbox Wrote:» DAMINK™ - 18-07-02:56 -- http://www.ftw.net.au/video-room/9683-not-so-funny.html WOW! Yet we still drive fast?

Snippets from the other thread

Quote:BE AWARE. THIS IS A BAD VIDEO. YOU WILL SEE PEOPLE DIE!
DONT WATCH IT IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED OR HAVE A WEAK STOMACH!

Quote:It is not funny at all..
Even when you have been in a bad car accident it is not the same as watching this video. It really has changed my ways very much so...

I will most proberly end up having nightmares over this

My recent trip

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 14:40:30 +0000

To anyone that's interested...I recently wound up back in the hospital and then a crisis unit. The short version of the story is that I got put on a new medicine, very shortly after started having weird urges, losing control of my body, and even hearing things that I'm not sure were real.

Now for the long version...

More than two weeks ago (closer to three, really), I was prescribed a new medication to help with the nightmares I had been having. I didn't start taking it immediately because I was having some physical troubles (balance mostly). Around two weeks ago I started actually taking it, but it never did help with my nightmares.

A few days after I started taking the new medication, I was having more problems with nerves and panic attacks. I was taking my anti-anxiety medication more often than normal, but frequently it still wouldn't take care of the problem for me. Even though I wasn't particularly depressed (sometimes was even in high spirits) I would look at toxic items and for a split second want to ingest them.

Those split second urges can be scary, but I'm so used to wanting to harm myself (at least on some level) that they wouldn't have actually scared me. After all, I wasn't really wanting to hurt or kill myself at the time so I wouldn't do it, right? Well another thing was going on at the same time. I was losing control of my body...mostly small things. I would intend to walk one direction and walk another, or I would have trouble getting my body to do what I wanted (get up, get an item, etc.). Once or twice I even did things without any conscious effort to do them.

Now if this wasn't enough, I'd had some other problems. Blurred vision a time or two and more time that I was kind of "spacing out" than I usually would. Those two cleared up, but others got worse if anything...dizziness, loss of balance, and what I just classified as my mind playing tricks on me (but I'm pretty sure the medical staff would class as this little thing called "hallucinations").

So anyone want to know what I was "hallucinating"? Distant sirens a couple times, seeing people or animals (in piles of items), hearing human footsteps when everyone was gone, oh and in the ER for a minute I thought their light had a TV screen on it. Yeah, anyone who's never had that kind of problem go right ahead and laugh it up.

While I'm at it, wanna know some of the strange impulses? Well really only a couple that are strange rather than flat out suicidal: I wanted to get up and run out of the ER (they didn't bother putting a band on me anyway), and I wanted to grab the movable light (whatever it's really called) and hang from it like a monkey. Again, laugh it up - I don't really care.

Well, back to the story itself. Every step of the way, I tried talking to my mom about it...I'm not sure if she didn't grasp it or if she was just too wrapped up in her own problems, but she didn't even encourage me to get help. What's done is done though...

She left Friday with my two sisters to visit my aunt and cousins in Florida. Mind you, I'm still not alone at home...but I no longer had little children to hide the insanity from or my mom to tell and then wonder if maybe I'm just overreacting when she didn't seem phased by it.

So then Saturday night I got really dizzy and tired and such. I hadn't realized what happened, but I would up taking my sleeping pill with something else...that probably caused it. Anyway, I was in the kitchen doing something and I felt like I was going to fall so I leaned against the refrigerator to stay upright. It didn't work - I slid down and somehow went from that to being worked into another panic attack over everything. I wanted to go to the hospital, but I just wasn't sure if it was what I needed to do or not. Ultimately I couldn't find any crisis numbers I *could* call (aside from suicide lines), so I called my girl who looked up the number to the hospital for me. On her advice, at least two or three other friends' advice, AND the advice of whoever ultimately answered the call at the hospital, I got someone up and got a ride there.

Then there was a bunch of waiting and answering questions and repeating symptoms and them doing tests and me talking to the monitor about "yes I know when I stop breathing for a few seconds my oxygen goes down" (when it started beeping). Also, the desire to run and hang from the light... Anyway, I answered everyone honestly. Even was honest to the woman evaluating me (to the point of telling her about the light - both wanting to hang from it and thinking I saw a screen in it). The doctor ordered an anti-psychotic at some point while I was there. I did NOT want to be locked up anywhere, and I was honest about that with them too, but I also wasn't going to fight it. The woman called the person in charge of the crisis center and got them to OK my having my stuffed animal with me so I willingly stayed there again.

After someone from the crisis center picked me up and took me there, I had to be given some supplies to shower, something to wear to sleep in and so I could do laundry the next morning (all I had were the clothes on my back, my stuffed animal, and my purse which I'd carried my meds to the ER in). I slept until around 4pm, without my sleeping pill or the stupid anti-nightmare med.

The next day (technically the same one, but after I woke up), I didn't really eat much I just sat around talking to people a little. Everyone could tell I was in a good mood not depressed or anything and I didn't have any more trouble - none all day. In the late evening I lost my balance a little bit one time trying to carry a full pitcher of kool-aid, but just for one step and then I was fine again. I went to sleep pretty early because they gave me my sleeping pill but I refused the one for nightmares.

Next morning I woke up at 6 AM on my own! Definitely not something I normally do. I spent the morning sitting with people talking to the guy I'd met the day before and a new girl who came in that morning. They were nice enough, though they shared some similar experiences that I was fortunate enough not to ever get to. I talk to the staff there about leaving and explained I'd been having no trouble at all and felt I could take care of myself again. They were hesitant at first, but had no problem with it when they learned I had been without this new medication for a couple days and thought it might be part of the problem. I was, however, informed that my case with them had been reopened because of the visit - in other words it had been completely closed...but that's more of a private discussion for me to have with a particular person.

And now I'm home to live happily ever after the end (YEAH RIGHT!).

A very special happy birthday...

Fri, 28 May 2010 02:10:11 +0000

... to our very own Betsy (LadyUnicornEJG)! Enjoy, you old lady, you... =P All joking aside, hope it's a good one =)

Freaky Dream

Fri, 07 May 2010 06:45:33 +0000

I woke up to a really nasty freaky dream....In the dream, there was this tick that somehow managed to get in my mouth without me realizing it and bit into my tongue (WTF? right? Yeah...I know), then I pulled it off and started bleeding all over the place. So like I said, FREAKY. Then to make it worse I half woke up but went to go back to sleep and could have sworn I heard my mom call my name (from in the room), but she wasn't there...

Zombies...

Thu, 06 May 2010 07:38:38 +0000

Who else like 'em? I'm a big fan of the undead myself.

[SOLVED] Image has been scaled down 100% (0x0).

Sat, 01 May 2010 05:20:51 +0000

I don't know about everybody else but every image in every post has this message. It's annoying because even when I click the bar it stays there. I'm assuming it's an issue with Internet Explorer 7 which I am stuck using while at work.

Example:

ihbsd1.png (Size: 58.51 KB / Downloads: 3)

An untitled story

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 18:54:31 +0000

So this past semester in school, I was in a creative writing class. We had to write a story, and the only instructions were that it should be about a place that is familiar to you (I used my home town where I was born and raised) and the character should be searching/longing for something or someone. With that said, here it is

"I pass that abandoned bar where the Ku Klux Klan once thrived, meeting every third Tuesday of the month. The glass is long gone with boards, now spray painted with gang signs. Just outside, a group of teenage boys gather, wary eyes bore searching for trouble. I do not make eye contact. Instead I kick a pebble along the poorly paved alleyway. You can tell by their battered bodies that they are recent recruits to either the Bloods or Crypts gangs. I hear movement coming from their location. Surprised, I kick the rock too far in the distance and glance over, seeing a boy even younger than I looking my way. A harmonica hung around his neck and his arm shone with the itchy red of a new tattoo, in its beginning stages of infection. I glanced away once more, kicking a new stone.
Though I feel you close, you are not among the dark shadows or sketchy alleys of the infamous Pennsylvania Avenue. The hookers patrol their corners and as drunken homeless men grab at me, I realize you have never been here and I shouldn’t be either. You are none of those things; I don’t need them to be happy or to find you. I cross the first bridge back home, but halfway across I stop. I steady myself on the slender ledge and look out across the water and call your name listening for the echo of my voice bouncing about the water and trees. Recalling the summers we came here to jump off into the sun warmed water below, I dive in. The water is more shallow than it once was, more shallow than I remember it being. My hands graze the reservoir bottom, skin briefly tasting a cold metal that I once knew. I could not see what it was, but I knew it was important to finding you.
Kicking to the surface, I blow the water away from my face, air caught in my chest as I realize it is the cross you wore around your neck. Diving down, I feel the reservoirs bottom for any trace of you. I grab a handful of soil before kicking back up for air. As I reach the surface, I open my hand. Seeing a shimmer, I grab the object and rinse away the dirt. I held a button into the light, Faded Glory Jeans raised on the cold metal surface. Unsatisfied, I swam to the nearby dock and set the button down. You were not the one to ever wear jeans; you preferred khaki slacks and a polo shirt to go with your perfect smile and reddish blonde hair.
I dive in the center and graze my fingers along the mud as the sun dips behind the trees, leaving me to read the Braille along the reservoir floor. Lying underneath a fallen limb was a rusted license plate but it was not just any plate. It was yours. As I trace my finger over the letters not needing the light to know what it said. My mind went back to that summer, you know, the one where the whole reservoir had dried up and there was but a stream, no more than a foot wide snaking along the bottom of this now watery area. It was the first time I realized you were not as quiet as you led on. We tore up the mud that was left, now dry and cracking with our donuts and drifts, always careful to avoid the trees that had begun to grow. You had lost your front plates here, and we had found them. But then we went for another spin and never did find them again.
Reaching the bottom once more, I grab the necklace as if I knew its exact position the whole time. Doggy paddling to the water’s edge, I fumble with the rusted metal latch, which, finally coming loose, I rest against my own skin; a piece of you close to my heart.
I continue down the dirt lane leading to and from the boat dock. I reminisce to the summer nights we would come skinny dipping in this water. We felt so alive and invincible back then. The simple risk that the police on patrol could come through any time helped fuel that rebellion for just about everyone we knew.
Reaching the main road, I stare across to the graveyard where faint sounds from a harmonica can be heard. Curious, I search between the headstones, looking for the source of the music. I finally find him, the boy from Baltimore earlier that evening. He motions for me to come over and continues playing.
Listening to his music brings me back to the days we would sit in the park and you would play your harmonica for me. The swings would float back and forth in the summer breeze, unaware of the weight atop of them. You’d take it everywhere. Sitting in Denny’s restaurant at abnormal hours of the morning, and play over the Hot Fudge Brownie we would share as was custom to our visits. It was never the same tune, but always slow and somber.
Then there was that tree, the one that we took leaves from each fall right when they reached that deep red shade. We always pressed them in that book on leaves, always finding it hard to wait until they were flat and dry. There was something about that tree that was different than the others, though they all looked the same. Its bark was a little darker, and the leaves a little brighter. The leaves still shutter as each car passes, memories of the car that left the silver paint chips deep in its mangled body coming to the surface. They say you died instantly, but if you had been wearing your seatbelt… better the tree than another car. I went to that tree the day after, though it was the beginning of summer, the leaves were the deep red shade of fall."

Caroline

Shoutbox

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 06:19:31 +0000

I'm testing this out both to actually test it out and to give people somewhere to talk in real time (if there are multiple people on at once anyway). If it gets abused, however, I will remove it - I'm not watching this site go down in flames in order to try to have a chat of sorts.

A song

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 08:26:59 +0000

My mom and I heard this on the radio and decided my father needs prayers...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atBg9zLI2bA

Quote:I pray your breaks go out running down a hill;
I pray a flowerpot falls from a windowsill and hits you in the head like I'd like to;
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls;
I pray your flying high when your engine stalls;
I pray all your dreams never come true

Firefox Persona

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 01:31:45 +0000

I have made a firefox persona for helpthislife available here: HTL Firefox Persona

Here is a screenshot of the persona from the index page of the forums:

Just figured I'd share in case anyone was interested. ^^ It's completely free, of course.

MyCode/BBCode Test

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 13:42:01 +0000

Just testing this...

Spoiler: show

Light VS Dark

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 04:11:35 +0000

So I've heard it a few times, including a number of recent posts... but I'd like to know what actual, routine/repeat members think on this matter.

Should the site have a light(er) or dark(er) default theme?

Seems mostly a matter of personal preference, and I know people who prefer each...I've even updated it to where there's a quick-theme changer at the bottom of every page now. But what does everyone think?